a part of me will always hate you for it, even right now while i am enjoying being in love with you. it fucked me up real good. i'm just ignoring the screaming in the back of my mind telling me to run a million miles.
thank god for best friends.

breakfast

when you grow up, your heart dies

it's new years tomorrow. it'll be better than ever. i'll be with my gorgeous wives and my idiotic boyfriend hahah.
he is cunt. i love it

now you know why i'm being weird

i love this movie!

please don't take him from me

And you've still got the most beautiful face
It just makes me sad most of the time

no bad writting

the secret window was on television last night, oh how could i have forgotten how much i love that movie! i love johnny depp, and he plays insane so well.
i'm a hopeful person. i hope you'll do all these things with me. but there's this place in the bottom of my stomach that is trying to tell my head that no, you wont. but it's alright i guess, the thoughts still there and it's the thought that counts.
i'll cook you dinner, and if you don't come, i'll eat alone.
i'll rent out movies i think you'll like, and if you don't come, i'll watch them alone.
i'll buy your favorite childhood book for you, and if you don't come, i'll bury it in my backyard, along with all the other things and thoughts.
left 4 dead plox :3

hair

michelle and i brought pretty underwear and dyed our hair on her bathroom floor :3
it was pretty, we spent hundreds of dollars each on pretty clothes.
then we got nice and wined!
boxing day was fun!

no more nom nom

since dad's been home mum makes dinner, but only for three still.
there's four now? but oh no that's okay i don't need to eat.
bugger you.

bella for a day

i love how my family don't know me at all and get me ridiculous gifts. THANK YOU FOR THEM THOUGH!
they forget my name and call me bella? where the hell did you get bella from?!
this day will be interesting.
my family all secretly hate each other, not always secretly.
oh disfunction, how you work.

oh and merry christmas
<3

headache

it's small like that so there's a chance you wont read it

i feel so much better

after the trip to auckland. i really needed that. but i think next time, michelle should be there :)

change

i know i wrote that i hoped nothing would change down here.
but while i was up there i did a lot of thinking, and i missed you and could only think of the sweet things you do but as i got on the plane home i had this sick realization that you wont be like that, you wont have changed, it'll be exactly the same.
i could almost feel the depression i felt down here wash back over me as i looked out the window during the landing.
but i've now decided i don't give a shit. i am happy and young and the world is my god damn oyster.

home - edit

-i am home! it is wonderful! i missed my bed, i missed everything about christchurch.- i take that back.

i am going to miss the city up in auckland. it's full of people. i like that they're all busy. they're going places. i'm going to miss the warmer weather. i am going to miss catching trains everywhere. but thank fuck i am back home where my wife is (:

OH MY GOD

http://www.last.fm/event/1335572+Amanda+Palmer+at+Al%27s+Bar+on+16+March+2010

OH MY GOD
I CANT BREATHE

run away phase 1

i am so excited to go away! i need a break so bad. i think i am kind of nervous too, please don't let anything change down here :3
i can't stop fidgeting! this is good, this is good, eeeeeeh
and it will be warmer up there! :D
oh everything is great.
goodbye pessimism you are getting cut from my life for your shoes.

lol

ps: i love ryan

there's nothing wrong,
mein herz ist zu voll

want;
to be needed and wanted back
to be locked away

three!

♥ you're my rock

mosquito

were amazing! more gigs plox!

i am happy

i get to see my beautiful best friend sing up on stage tonight

siaaaaaaaa

and sometimes I worry
my boyfriend will die
my first love is already dead

things i have learnt recently;
1. i am oh so reliant on you, if you went away i would have no one
2. taking off your tights is the new "i want to have sex"
3. people like to invade your privacy, no matter how it makes you feel
4. my mother does not hate me, just resents me
5. i love someone FML

i love having the house to myself. i can walk around in no clothes and not hear my sister say OH MY GOD PUT SOME PANTS ON. why wear pants at home?
oh i am smitten.
i am all yours.
and you are all mine. ^-^

remember, please remember

do you remember when we lay in bed all weekend watching the sun go up and down, finishing each others word puzzles off.

tralalalal

no it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
i don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault.

you promised you'd never hurt me, you broke that promise.

<3

i'm really good

at pissing people off.
i love storms.

when i get sad

my eyes seem to get bigger, and greener.

i like;

i like when i get out of the shower and i just let my hair be, it goes all wavy and nice.
i like when mum tries to be nice by making me a coffee, but makes it completely wrong. i have no sugar and no milk mum.<3
i like when you tell me little lies and i get mad and you just smile at me till i smile too.
i like getting bottles of wine with michelle and just walking around, not always with a destination, drunk, talking about absolutely everything.
i like watching people, people do strange things when they think they aren't being watched.
i like saturday nights home alone with chocolate and movies, i can be my friend.
well done Alex, that is officially 2 friends C;
i'm liking this month already.

self consciousness

a riot of
oh damn,
i cannot trust myself

i hate when you don't talk back, it makes me feel unimportant to you and i worry, but i don't want to be that annoying girl so i just wait, and i wait, and i wait.

blog

i like to blog.

yay everything is lovely.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEX I LOVE YOU.

:D:D

today i saw lots of people. i saw Lex, Ashleigh, that pretty Yssie girl, Ashley and Danster and lots of people i think are cute.

apsh. mitch says i don't like people. i do so. i'm just selective.

we're going out for dinner and i'll get to see Roi! :D.

and then i'm going to go home and go to sleep for as long as possible.

i hate being awake. sleeeeeeeeeepy sleep sleep

i will marry

whoever goes and see's where the wild things are with me

lying, cheating, WHY am i even bothering!? fuck you

high

alone, hello smelly room

why does nobody want to be impulsive and crazy anymore?

john green

"i wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. not fuck, like in those movies. not even have sex. just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. but i lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and i was gawky and she was gorgeous and i was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. so i walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, i was drizzle and she was a hurricane"

holiday season

let's make December happy

today's adventure:

i went outside for a cigarette, in my underwear, as you do. that was fine, until i decided it would be super smart to shut the door without unlocking it and had to wait outside in my underwear for nearly an hour! it didn't help that it was cold today. FML. hahaha.
thank god mum finished work when she did :s

reality

hi i'm a mediterranean fruit fly

free time

www.heraldleaderphoto.com/2008/09/18/man-decorates-basement-with-10-worth-of-sharpie//

you're one little idea in my thoughts of thousands